Hi…

Start of with things that shit me. This may just turn

Bike people that cut you off in your car… don’t you know I can kill you motherfucker, my vessel is made of metal and is stronger than yours.

But law says they dint your car… your fault.


People in public civilised places, such as work, or a restaurant, who go to the bathroom, take a shit…. And don’t even attempt to flush or shut the lid… infact today I went to the bathroom for a number one to walk into the cubicle, to find a nugget in the bowl with both the lid and the seat up. So someone has not only shat, not flushed but actually lifted the seat up too. And probably didn’t wash their hands. Bastardo!

Being put on hold by customer service only for their manager to come back and talk over me and tell me ‘im sorry we just cant answer that, you will have to wait 48 hours for this response’… I ask… why does it take 48 hours….. they reply ‘ because it does! Is there anything else I can help you with’
You didn’t help in the first place you harlot!
Or this one –
Me: has this account been finalised?
Guy: umm yes it has..
Me: what date was it paid out.
Guy: umm actually it hasn’t been paid out
Me: Right….. so have any additional payments been made
Guy: well the customer has made his mothly payments each month
Me: but has he made any more than that
Guy: umm I don’t know
Me: well can you look for me
Guy: ok sure….. um yes he has… the account was paid and finalised yesterday

FAARRRKKK!K!!!

As you can tell I deal with a bunch of spanners day in day out…. These people are meant to be customer service but they are actually just underpaid c**ts who don’t care about their jobs and just want to finish for the week so they can have a beer.

Sound Familiar!??

Shh…

So on a lighter note..

How good is thai chicken green lemongrass curry.. well it was last night thanks to the lovely Caitlin. It was great, accompanied by a tigerbeer and a shitful movie. Made for a good night.

I was put in charge of cooking the rice… and of course ruined it… but all in all definitely not the worst meal ive ever had.

Going to the gym tonight for the first time in forever…. I have the right mind to bomb the fucking place after their hard sell marketing and bleed you dry contracts they impose.

My contract is for a year… if I want to cancel, I have to pay out the remaining months… which at the moment is about 300 bucks… plus a termination fee and they don’t cancel it for 30 days so they debit you an extra month as well.
They call you a few times a month to give you free training sessions if you bring 3 friends and if they don’t sign up at the end you have to pay for the training session. They call up and ask why we haven’t been coming much… and when I tried to lie and say I moved to Sydney they proceded to offer me- if you pay a one off fee of $95 you can switch your membership to our Sydney venue.
Fuck you!
So I decided to stick it through and actually use the gym for the remaining months.
But the place is full of wankers and people trying to pick up everynight of the week… it may not be worth it.

Back to the beers and burgers I guess.

Lazy Sunday

Good afternoon lovelys.

i am officially dead today. last night was quite epic.. on a quiet note.

we made the decision to host a bit of a come over and have a beer night at ourhouse. involved were me, Caitlin, Matty, Dan , Andy Ange and Lozza , a slab of beer, a bottle of jamiesons a 6 pack of cider and a 6 pack of some other beer someone bought and 2 bottles of wine

shindig begins.

we drink listen to music get more drunk, andy starts to get worse... he drops a beer spills it all over our balcony, then yells at people for it :s, mumbles a bit, smashes a glass, we say 'andy...come on man calm down' he says, 'mmrrmmmrmr fuckyou....' he drops another beer allover our shoes, we tell him to sit down and have some water. he tells us to get fucked. (can you tell this is fun), andy procedes to walk inside to sit on the couch... falls slow motion onto our glass coffee table... not breaking it but as caitlin tries to help him up he wont move... hes half asleep upside down on the table..

all the while we are just sittin round listening to music, watching liverpool highlights and talking absolute bollocks in a crap english accent - well not me :P

andy sobres up a little and procedes to tell us all to get fucked and how shit we are. so i tackle him to the ground and sit on his stomach just to piss him off. (good mate i am)

andy falls asleep on the chair... and i wont say anything after that but you know how drunk people can get when someone falls asleep. :) i smash a bottle, dan smashes a wine glass, lozza bell uploads drunken half naked photos of me and dan on facebook :( i fuck aroundon the internet, not remembering what i actually did... probably offensive.

so this morning the house is a bomb shell, i am tired everything smells and i just had a burger for lunch. just annother weekend in the life of flip eh?


we get an apology phone call from andy this morning, which actually turns out to be a - hey is there any of my scotch left... tsk tsk.

i stupidy watch the liverpool chelsea replay only to get sad and proud at the same time.. they did a good job. watched a special on the Hillsborough Disaster, and got a bit sad. YNWA

now just thinking if i should sleep or have a beer. you decide.

anyway im too tired to write anymore. adios.

Hey peoples,

new blog - might keep doing this, as i got a few comments and people said hey you have a blog.. .:s

so here i am sitting in hideous white track pants feeling like a wog from coburg (no offense to those i know hehe)

listening to A-Trak, here's a hot tip, if you don't know him... find out. good music and seemingly good guy. maybe he might read this :D

last night, id say a medium level debacle lots of fun including me considering becoming a tram driver... they earn 80g a year and imagine what i could blog about.

sooo last night...... finished work and had a few beers in our (Fun Room)

(our office has transferred a floor of our building into a fun room with pool tables, daytona machines, Wii/PS3, pinball machines, frogger and space invaders and a fridge full of beer)

that ended up a bit boring so i left to meet the lovely caitlin drinking with her work friend and loveable gentlement Brenton. and his lovely friend Chan.

so after a few $4 scotches in a hotel bar and a drunken argument with some fat greek girl about how much of a twat Christiano Ronaldo is. which ended with....

Fat Greek Girl- but he is sooo hot, look at his chest... oh and his hair and he crys when he misses a goal means hes in touch with his feelings.

Me - ...... (i didnt even answer just walked off.)

then off to word bar where the lovley cheree (spelling :s) made us some cocktails which tasted like apple pie, then strawberry sorbet and then one that was shit, that i poured into a redbull can.

forgetting to mention that chan came along and we had to stop half way for him to projectile vomit. me thinking he was dying, i ran into a nearby hotel to see if they had a cup of water... only to scare the girl at the desk thinking i was going to rob her.

nice girl emptied her ice tea to fill it up with water. :)

then at word bar, annother projectile vomit in the toilets... mind you this was at 9 o clock bless him.


chan decides to go home. me and caitlin treck to the rochie.

which on the way we stop to get a dirty kebab... the guys remember us from smith st kebab shop they used to own and want to talk to us all night and tell us there will be trouble if we dont come back tonight :s
the highlight of this pitstop or even the night, i convince some guy who is just starting to eat a open kebab on a plate with rice type dish... to give me half of it ... so i kneel next to him scoffing his plate of meat (doesnt sound right does it) while i listen to his life story... stupid fucker neglected to realise he had lost his meal to someone who wasnt even listening to him


We hit the Rochie, the old haunt from the get drunk and have a parma days...

the night ends with about 14 pints and dancing with little sammy on my shoulders... and coming home to an empty house and a hangover this morning. not feeling too bad though..

just watched changeling about an hour ago... not a bad movie not what i expected... only thing to note... angelina jolie is getting old, much past her tombraider days me thinks.


what to do tonight. let me know. :)

right now i might clean the room and have a shower...


new thing that i hate...

taxi drivers who purposly go the wrong way... greedy fucks.

things i like - our first taxi man who is actually a pilot - cool motherfucker.


song to listen to..... - this one of the A-Trak Infinity +1 album

Nil By Mouth (Knightlife Remix) - Bag raiders


in the words of PDiddy - Lets Go!

And I can blog from my phone. Sweet!

I did not know that. Anyway off to beers soon

1st blog of many... unless you people hate it.

Well hello Blog, and its (so far) 0 readers.


whats on the agenda and mind today... lets see

as this is new and Ive got my pre-emptive writers block this may tend to bore the shit out of you… but here goes.


Well, house to ourselves this half a week, as the extended house family are away to the Great Barrier Reef

Leaving the house dark and empty… but still kind of a breath of fresh air at the same time.


Tonight they say the plan is to go to the Rochester… the old stomping ground of the homeless rock deros and the prissy indie kids alike (sometime indistinguishable)

Could be fun, but chances are I will dance to 3 songs – one of them being the beloved Libertines ‘cant stand me now’ (they always play that at about 2.35 pm on a Friday)

Then probably hang around outside so you can at least hear people talk to you. And probably spill a few pints along the way. WHO'S IN??

So in life at the moment, with many attempts of detox and give up this and that and lose weight and actually use the gym that I pay a fortune for each month…. And FAILING… I've decided. Time to lose some weight and do something worthwhile… become some Russell brand type icon.
Either that or keep plodding along and end up like that guy who looks like a thumb…. (Either Way – Instant Celebrity Status)… I cant lose

So I'm not loving whole heartedly my job at the moment… wont go too much into it because knowing the Internet… they’re watching.
So I think I need to look at something else… so I can earn more.. and play more… maybe more time at the Rochie?

Back to the house thing… me and the lady are living quite comfortably in our apartment with the housemates… but with their almost definite return to Holland, this means we have to perhaps vacate and find somewhere a little bit shitter to live.

Not for a few months but the suckiness of it is playing on the mind . .. I don’t want to leave… I like our living space.

If anyone can donate an equally as great spot for the same cash price… let me know.


Half way through this blog, I went for my first mid work beers in a long long time… leaving me quite unmotivated to do anything… but push through…

So excuse the change of tone and content to follow.

One thing I will probably continue to use in this blog…

At the moment… Things that shit me … and things that don’t J


BAD –

Tram inspectors…. Those motherfuckers with their smug faces … their aggression and their blatant man handling of attractive women when they don’t have a ticket ‘oh…she was trying to evade capture so I had to grab her breast’…..jerks!

City parking... the bain of my existence… trying to get take away coffee or a bite to eat in the city… needing a park for only 3 minutes… impossible. That parking space either doesn’t exist… or has a hidden sign which is actually 2 blocks away that says tow away zone, get out of your car to cross the road…then bang you don’t have a car anymore.

2009 fashion… honestly kids… its getting ridiculous.

Nerdy motherfuckers that grow up to be successful and take out their years of pain on the people below them… self explained.

People at cafes/restaurants that don’t listen…
-Hi I’ll have a ham cheese tomato croissant….
-So what bread is that on…
-Croissant!
-So… not sourdough…
-You motherfucker!

Bands that cant play/sing/write… learn all those things then make a band… unless you are 7… in that case then go for it annoy mum and dad… you sound better than most.
GOOD -

Not much…. I'm a miserable fucker


Well not really…

PHO… sweet Vietnamese beef soup goodness… found my vice.

Iphone twitter… keeping up to date with celebrities eating and going to the toilet.

Bebida tapas bar… on smith street Collingwood (Melbourne) really cosy, good food and drink, comfortable backyard courtyard thing, cruisy music… except one night someone booked it out to have a C*NT building night, where you pay $4 to build a vagina out of primary school art and craft supply… remember Clag…ughhh

Seeing other people miss public transport… simple good fun.. in the rain too.

OZ… Tv Show on SBS, about some prison somewhere with shit that happens… half the cast of Law and Order… and Elliot is gay :s

Red Wine … its back… get on it.


Other than that,… not much going on… lets see if anyone reads this or comments… can you even comment on blogs.. fucked if I know.


Aurevoir !